


Everything Is Better With Curry

by Tolpen



Series: Downey Centric Headcanon Pile [2]
Category: Discworld - Terry Pratchett
Genre: Curry, Gen, School canteen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-26
Updated: 2017-09-26
Packaged: 2019-01-05 18:20:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 437
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12195207
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tolpen/pseuds/Tolpen
Summary: "How to make school canteen food edible" by then-Professor Downey.





	Everything Is Better With Curry

**Author's Note:**

> I began to write in hand again. Hands stained with pink-violet ink, getting the Assassins' Guild stories and headcanons out of my head. I don't apologize for being Downey-centric lately. It is going to continue.

The second year of Downey's teaching was quite remarkable. First of all, he was suddenly teaching Geography aside from Algebra and Architecture. And then there was the whole incident with the school canteen which... was very amusing.

In the first year Downey had noticed the students are half starved. Or most of them at least. He had a four year break of postgraduate from the canteen himself, and while he had the right to get cheap food in the canteen as a teacher, he put it to use only after the start of the second year. School made food isn't known to be good, but this was basically only flour, salt, lard, and occasionally onion.

He talked about it with Flannelfoot, at the time the Head of the guild (capital G denied) and the Headmaster of Assassins' Academy. He didn't want to hear about it.

"You see, Downey," he said, "the canteen gets money from the students and teachers paying for food. Just like any other canteen."

"Are you saying they spare on cooking to have their salary?"

"Exactly. And now, when you have this cleared, off you go."

The week after that Downey brought hot spicy curry with himself to the canteen and didn't buy the school lunch. The rather large room soon filled with the scent of chicken and spices. Downey caught few of his colleagues drooling. The chef was, of course, furious.

The next day over half of the students and one or two other teachers brought their own food. The cooks snapped at Downey who, more or less, took their money money from them.

"Well, and why don't you tell Flannefoot? He hires you, doesn't he?"

"Hire? Never seen a coin from him!"

"He should pay you, though," Downey shrugged.

The cooks were confused. "What?"

"Just think about it," he put on his teacher's explaining voice. "If the guild pays you, you won't have to be worried about getting money and won't have to spare on food to keep some of the lunch money for yourself. Which means better food, and more people will buy food if it's better. Therefore more lunch money and more money for you."

The chef, who was the fastest of the kitchen to think, understood. This conversation was followed by several negotiations and plenty of angry arguments (of which two were finished with a thrown carving knife) with Mr. Flannelfoot. But in the end the cooks got paid. The food was better, students weren't half starved and learned better, the teachers were less furious, and Downey got a life long bad to eat curry within the guild's walls.

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, I might have some strong feelings about our school canteen, why are you asking?


End file.
